Of death and social media…

Death and Social media

I got the call as I was watching Olivia Blatchford play Maria Toorpakai Wazir in the finals of the Manulife Investments WSA Tournament at Club Meadowvale.

It was my wife.

She broke the news as gently as she could – my mother had just passed away, in India!

In a bit of a daze, I stared at my beer. For a second I contemplated downing it before heading out, but decided otherwise.

Blatchford, the eventual winner, was beating up Toorpakai. Not quite what the crowd had expected.

But then, who can predict what a new day will bring?

The news about my mother was not entirely unexpected. Though, that did not make it any easier to accept.

I had been to India twice in the past three months. The first time, to participate in a joyful family reunion mostly centred around my mother. And the second, a month later, to visit her as her health took a turn for the worse. Her day-to-day existence seemed to hinge on a complex mix of tubes, catheters, oxygen cylinders, and wheelchairs.

Until she decided to call it quits!

How much do I share about it on social media?

Death is not an easy subject unless you are a celebrity – Robin Williams and Philip Seymour Hoffman come to mind.

Then there are others like Scott Simon, a renowned journalist from National Public Radio (NPR), who decided to share the final moments of his mother with his large Twitter following. In a strange way, I can now relate to Scott, which is not something that I could have conceived last week!

I realize that sharing emotional details of my life is a lot harder than sharing food porn.

To begin with, would any of my social media friends, connections, and followers really care? Certainly not my LinkedIn connections – except maybe a few of my colleagues, who have known me over the years.

#ad

No point sharing there.

Some of my Twitter followers may be curious.

While Twitter is my favourite social media channel, only a few people there really know me personally. Sharing on Twitter would be like screaming in the middle of a forest, more cathartic than anything else.

Amma - Death and social media

That left me with Facebook, where I have the fewest number of friends. 

Unlike LinkedIn and Twitter, most of my friends on Facebook actually know me, and to some extent care about me. A brief message about my mother’s passing seemed appropriate. So I posted a recent image of my mother with a brief status update.

#Ad

Then I realized that I have another social media channel – my blog.

There is something to be said for blogs.

In a nutshell, it is my own platform. I am my own news channel and broadcasting station. I may not have the large audience some others have. But, it does give me the chance to articulate my thoughts and opinions, to whoever will listen.

In the blogosphere, my blog would be considered small. Nevertheless, there is always the chance that what I write about will appeal to the “feelings of the few.”

Normally, I write with my audience in mind. But, this one is for me.

Amma, you will be missed!

Image: http://all-free-download.com/freephotos/sunset_nature_lake_hallwil_232654_download.html

Dax Nair

Comments

16 responses to “Of death and social media…”

  1. Bob Jackson Avatar
    Bob Jackson

    Dax, I like that picture of your mother. Sorry for your loss.

    1. Dax Nair Avatar

      Thanks Bob.

  2. V Govind Raj Avatar
    V Govind Raj

    Very sorry to hear of the loss of your mother, Dax. I kind of know how you are feeling as I went too went through this experience early this year.
    Your blog really is a great forum to communicate and express your feelings on what is going on in your mind in times like this.
    My heartfelt condolences, Dax.

    1. Dax Nair Avatar

      Thank you Raju.

      Though expected, the number of people who have had similar experiences amazes me…

      Talk soon. Dax

  3. Kam Sabouri Avatar
    Kam Sabouri

    Dax,

    I’ve known you for a few years now and I not only think of you as a good friend, but also a compassionate, fair, and intelligent man. Even though I enjoy reading your tweets very much I never felt that I can have an intelligent enough comment to make after reading them. In this case, I just wanted to let you know that I’m truly sorry for your loss and sorry that I didn’t see this tweet earlier. My condolences my good friend.

    1. Dax Nair Avatar

      Thanks Kam. I really appreciate your kind words… Dax

  4. Very sorry for your loss Dax.

    The loss of one’s mother may be the hardest thing we ever face. Be well.

    1. Dax Nair Avatar

      Thanks Joe. I think you are right.

  5. Mother, grandmother, great-grandmother. Now a memory… Very nice sentiment. Good memories, I’m sure. Sorry for your loss.

    1. Dax Nair Avatar

      Thank you!

  6. Dax I feel your pain. I have just returned from india last night , my dad passed away on Oct 14 and much like you while I knew it would come soon ( he had been very ill for a year, with the very same tubes etc like your amma)but it makes it no easier to accept and no less painful. I have many FB friends but somehow baring my pain on social media seemed a little jarring even though I know that it would have been the fastet way to let friends know as well as to acknowledge their condolences . Maybe if I had a blog it would have been easier.
    Hold on to the thought that she is in a better place and remember her with happy memories. May she rest in peace.

    1. Dax Nair Avatar

      Kiran, Thank you!

      I knew your dad was ailing, but hadn’t heard that he had passed away! My sincere condolences…

      We should connect.

  7. Our thoughts are with you in this event of great loss. May she rest in peace.

    1. Dax Nair Avatar

      Thank you Ajoy.

  8. Mike McDermott Avatar
    Mike McDermott

    Very sorry to hear about the loss of your Mother . Hang in there Dax! All the best to your family as well.

    1. Dax Nair Avatar

      Thanks Mike.Thanks for the kind words…

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