Imagine showing up for a barbecue where they serve you meatless burgers and alcohol-free beer!

As someone who likes burgers juicy and beer medium-bodied, I am confused.

It all started with some research into “meatless” meats. It was for a blog post on the subject of business disruption facing the meat industry.

In case you are not aware, plant-based meats and “clean” meats (also known as cured meats) are a thing now. Big dollars are pouring into the alternate meat industry that is promising a more environment-friendly future for humanity.

Then I got hit with the ads on TV about alcohol-free beers.

No, I am not turning vegan or becoming a teetotaler. Meatless burgers don’t excite me. Non-alcoholic beer does less so. In fact, I was only peripherally aware of meatless meats until recently.

We are not talking about veggie burgers here.

A host of companies are focused on producing meats and meat products without killing animals. Companies like Beyond Meat, Impossible Foods, and Memphis Meats have been making waves by declaring their altruistic goals of saving the world by reducing the negative impacts of animal farming and slaughter.

Livestock farming — especially cattle farming — has been blamed for many environmental issues. Animal waste-related pollution, greenhouse gas emissions, and large-scale land, water, and energy consumption are just a few of the challenges that threaten the sustainability of the industry in the long run.

Plant-based meats, as the name implies, are created purely from plants. The argument is that most farm animals are herbivorous. They eat grass and plants that get converted to muscle, tissue, etc. in their bodies which we eventually consume as meat. Why not eliminate the middleware (the middle animal in this case) and create meats directly from the plants?

I can sort of relate to that idea.

Plant-based burgers are already available at various locations in the US. You can try an Impossible burger at one of these locations.

Clean meats are another matter.

Cultured entirely from animal cells in a lab, companies like Memphis Meats can produce any meat — beef, chicken, duck, eggs, and even milk — without directly involving an animal. That sounds a little icky. At least some of these clean meats will hit supermarket shelves by the end of the year.

While the whole thing may sound like a fad, the cattle industry in the US appears worried. Going by this report in Business Insider, the industry has already petitioned for the removal of words such as “beef” and “meat” from plant-based products.

That brings me to beer.

The last time I was in San Francisco, I got a chance to visit the Russian River Brewing Company and sample some of their famous IPAs and sour beers.

Their beers were not alcohol-free.

If you haven’t heard of Russian River, they are a popular brewpub in Santa Rosa, California. Beer connoisseurs line up on the first Friday of every year – often overnight – to get a taste of their limited-edition beers.

Sort of like Apple fans at an iPhone launch.

Somehow, I don’t see the same enthusiasm building up for Budweiser Prohibition Brew and Heineken 0.0. The big dollars being spent on advertising campaigns give me the sense that the beer giants have identified a target niche.

As a marketing guy, I am curious. I don’t see the USP.

Teetotalers would most likely hate the taste. After all, the taste for beer is acquired. Health-conscious drinkers would opt for kale juice. Alcohol-imbibing vegans may be inclined to try it but may stick with regular versions since most beers are vegan anyway.

That leaves regular beer drinkers like me and perhaps you.

For now, Moosehead Lager works just fine for me. I don’t see myself reaching for a Heineken 0.0 after an extended squash match. And, if I do decide to switch from real beer, I may go for one of those craft seltzers or kale juice.

In fairness, I must admit that Budweiser’s Prohibition Brew does taste pretty close to the real thing. But, call me old-fashioned. Meatless burgers and alcohol-free beer somehow don’t sound right.