Earlier this year, I wrote a piece titled “Overheard at Club Meadowvale,” which captured the essence of some passionate discussions among members regarding the superiority of squash vs tennis. As a follow-up, I have added a few more one-liners to the original list. Give it a read.

Squash is played with tins, boxes, and lines.

In squash, you can get a “stroke” and continue to play; in tennis, if you get a stroke you need an ambulance!

It’s OK to cheat in squash, as long as it means poaching to one side of the court.

In squash, “serve and volley” means that you serve and your opponent volleys.

In squash, your opponent can push you from the back and flash the “L”oser sign, especially when you seem to have an advantage.

Squash players pretend that a “nick” is a repeatable shot. That is like calling this a repeatable shot: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d5bSq3dUUog

Squash players get squash knees; tennis players get tennis elbows.

In squash, the referee can often threaten you with a throat-slashing motion.

In squash, you hit a “rail;” in tennis, you just hit the line referee’s leg.

In squash, if you make an “attempt” to play a ball the referee may give you another shot at it. Would be sweet, in real life!

In squash you do backhand boasts; in tennis, you may get backhanded compliments.

Squash pros make a living; tennis pros make the Forbes list.

In squash, grammar is less important; “no let” and “tight length” mean serious stuff.

Tennis has deuce and ad courts; in squash, it is just right and left.

In Tennis, you can see your opponent.

Love does not count for a whole lot in tennis.

Tennis players only boast when they are off the court.

In Tennis, hitting the line is considered a great shot; in squash not so much.

In Tennis, players don’t hide behind your back.

If you have some wisecracks of your own, please let me know. I will add them to the next version of the squash vs tennis list.